I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
