I like to think it a success when the cops are called
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
