Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Do you have feelings for this penis?
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
