If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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