I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Do you think it would be okay if i cleaned my cartilage piercing with the leftover vodka?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
