Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize
