Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
