Kiss
Puke
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Randomize
