What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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