i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
Randomize
