are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Randomize
