yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
