omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
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