Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Randomize
