matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Randomize
