i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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