Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
