Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
