Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
After the concert, I paid a cab to drive me around the city so I could shout "dc highfive!" at everyone who passed for an hour and a half.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
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