I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
