it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
He went out to smoke and when he came back I was still in the same spot naked and unable to breathe.
All I could say was, "ladies and gentlemen, THIS is why I drive 30 mins"
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
