I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
im taking a nap outside. wake me up in an hour.
way to go to work and not wake me up. when you get home youre rubbing me with aloe and giving me a blowjob. no excuses
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Randomize
