first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
