ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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