hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Randomize
