been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
