Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Randomize
