PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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