Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
My brain says no but my pants say off.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
