If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
