Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
Drunk you assumed that me saying I thought squirrels were cute meant for you to trap one in my car by luring it in with ham. You're going to hell for this.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
