I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Randomize
