you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
I based a lot of our friendship on the fact that I thought you were crying from feeling so sad for me when I got crabs. I'm not sure if we can ever be as close now.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Randomize
