first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
