bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
My New Years Resolution is to come up with a new resolution monthly. January: decrease my shotgunning consumption speed to 7 seconds or less.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
My parents worry about me having parties when they go on vacation. Umm no it just means I'm drinking and smoking alone on the first floor of the house instead of the second
Hashtag Pathetic
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Randomize
