Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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