3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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