I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
