I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
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