i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
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