Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
