Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
