I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
