So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
