2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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