She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
