I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
