There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I'm passing your future prison.
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I'm eating cereal out of the pocket of my flannel right now
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize
