we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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