Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
